It's December again

The last month of the year
Gloomy days
Rainy days
Advent period
In waiting

Yesterday was Mom's 3 months passing away
I just can't believe it
Time passes by so fast
Feels like she's still away on a very long trip
And never given us any news
About how is it up there

I'll write again, be back soon

12.12.13

Today is 12.12.13. Yesterday was 11.12.13. A triplet that would not happen again this century.

I forgot what I was about to say, so I thought I'd just posted this now, over a month after.

Unspeakable

It's not sadness, nor grief nor sorrow. It was something else. A feeling of..like there's a hole that you know will stay that way forever, because nothing can replace what supposedly be there. I don't know. The first Christmas without all parents. It's not loneliness either. It's a feeling. A sort of unidentified feeling. People say that words, written words are very limiting. Words can't say what we feel completely. Something we think, we feel, it's there, but it's unspeakable. People say music speaks thousand words and I can relate to that saying. I know that when I hear a composition, I can relate myself, relate my soul, emerge my soul in that composition, and be somewhere else, not in the here or in the now. Like the composition talks, but only to my inner self, speaks to my mind, and I found not enough words to describe. Beauty, not that, it's more than that. Amazing, awesome, not those either. It's deeper. It's just..unspeakable. And I see no points of attempting to type it down. You see, I'm failed here. I give up.