When you supposed to be happy for someone else...

...but you felt hard to.
It's kind of difficult to describe the feeling, it's not envy, but it's not really empathy either..
Since I know that other's happiness should be celebrated, especially if that person's your close friend, I found myself not sincere, and that brings a sort of guilty feeling of not being solider with one's friend.
But why does it's really, actually hard to do it? Especially, when this person's fate, is much different than that of your own.  180 degrees difference.
Is it just me being human?
I mean, let's compare. Errr, not now.
But to be honest, yes, destiny is the biggest separator between us.
Destiny brought in a plate for the other person a large slice of a tasty tiramisu, and brought me what, a small, oily and unshaped corn fritter? They both edible, but in a difference way.
When the other person told about his/her planning [let's say I'd feel safer to avoid gender classification, I'd just use 'they'], I felt like a dagger was just stabbed at my very heart.
It's a sweet story, but it caused me bleeding inside.

From Watatita, the Jakarta Globe.

It's like, they told me something I lack of, or not capable of. Blatantly put the facts (about them, not about me) right in front of my face.
They never thought that it somehow could have hurt me, but the ironic sense of  mine about 'Here I am telling you the story you do not have' of some sort, was just obvious. It's just hurtful.
But it's not their fault at all, it's my own, I must admit.
It's my own fault that I felt that way.
Should I just be happy for him/her? Can I not? And why?

I think, it's me just being a human with faults and mistakes.
It's me, who needs to take some time when hiking a hilly slope before I am able to get used with the altitude and the hilly path.
It's me, just want to take a deep breath and not being suffocated, to clean my lung with fresh air, inhale the pure oxygen of sincerity and spit out the carbon dioxide of envy and jealousy and covert.
I should and I could be happy for someone else, with deep sincerity as I mostly do the rest of my life to others .
Even if it feels like suffocated, I must, cause life must go on.
And if I say I believe in God, then I must act godly, not devilish like this.