"Demons"

By: Imagine Dragons

When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold

When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood’s run stale

I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There’s nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

At the curtain’s call
It's the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you made

Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don't wanna hide the truth

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

Do not pitying me

I hate being pitied. That indicates a gap of ..fate? fortune? power? 

I don't like to be reminded how lucky you are. How wanted you are. How good you are.

I don't like to be reminded how unlucky I am. How unwanted I am. How bad I am.

This sort of contrasting comparison that I hate. 

So just leave me alone.

Do not pitying me. I have been walking my fate and will keep on walking. You were just a dot in my path that I flicked when I moved on.

And I am moving on.

You know what my favorite thought is? That you don't have that power over me.

I'm a dreamer, I am a nomad, I am a traveler. And you're just a dot in my path.

No posting in February

So..here I am. After all that happened in February, I did not write anything. I almost forget that I have this blog indeed. Trouble with sleeping, heavy workload, and so many distractions hampered me from writing and reflecting. Less reflecting. That is a sign of no good things. Reflecting and praying come in a package. Secluding one's self out of this material world and move into immaterial world. Less reflecting, less writing, less praying. That is exactly what I did in February. Which explains why I visited this blog no more in February.

It's December again

The last month of the year
Gloomy days
Rainy days
Advent period
In waiting

Yesterday was Mom's 3 months passing away
I just can't believe it
Time passes by so fast
Feels like she's still away on a very long trip
And never given us any news
About how is it up there

I'll write again, be back soon

12.12.13

Today is 12.12.13. Yesterday was 11.12.13. A triplet that would not happen again this century.

I forgot what I was about to say, so I thought I'd just posted this now, over a month after.

Unspeakable

It's not sadness, nor grief nor sorrow. It was something else. A feeling of..like there's a hole that you know will stay that way forever, because nothing can replace what supposedly be there. I don't know. The first Christmas without all parents. It's not loneliness either. It's a feeling. A sort of unidentified feeling. People say that words, written words are very limiting. Words can't say what we feel completely. Something we think, we feel, it's there, but it's unspeakable. People say music speaks thousand words and I can relate to that saying. I know that when I hear a composition, I can relate myself, relate my soul, emerge my soul in that composition, and be somewhere else, not in the here or in the now. Like the composition talks, but only to my inner self, speaks to my mind, and I found not enough words to describe. Beauty, not that, it's more than that. Amazing, awesome, not those either. It's deeper. It's just..unspeakable. And I see no points of attempting to type it down. You see, I'm failed here. I give up. 

The passing away of a great man

One of the greatest men who lived in this century has just passed away. Nelson Mandela, left the world in the end of 2013. A man who sacrificed 27 years of his lifetime to other people who might not have known him, for the crowd who were under apartheid regime. Everyone seems to applaud and tribute him now. I, for one, truly admire his resistance, his forgiveness, the principles of him: love and forgive, and non-violence. Truly great man in history. We shall never forget this for his life is written in world's history for good.

I suddenly see the resemblance between him and my Lord, Jesus Christ. Love. Brave. Forgiveness. Hate to see injustice. Sacrifice. Reconciliation with one's enemy.

I must say, I have a long way to go. To imitate these great people.

Mandela admired Jesus Christ himself, as he once said:

Our Messiah, who came to us in the form of a mortal man, but who by his suffering and crucifixion attained immortality.

Our Messiah, born like an outcast in a stable, and executed like criminal on the cross.

Our Messiah, whose life bears testimony to the truth that there is no shame in poverty: Those who should be ashamed are they who impoverish others.

Whose life testifies to the truth that there is no shame in being persecuted: Those who should be ashamed are they who persecute others.

Whose life proclaims the truth that there is no shame in being conquered: Those who should be ashamed are they who conquer others.

Whose life testifies to the truth that there is no shame in being dispossessed: Those who should be ashamed are they who dispossess others.

Whose life testifies to the truth that there is no shame in being oppressed: Those who should be ashamed are they who oppress others.” (Mandela 1994). 

And said that the resurrected Messiah:

who without arms,

without soldiers,

without police and covert special forces,

without hit squads or bands of vigilantes,

overcame the mightiest state during his time.

This great festival of rejoicing marks the victory of the forces of life over death, of hope over despair.

We pray with you for the blessings of peace! We pray with you for the blessings of love! We pray with you for the blessings of freedom!” (Mandela 1992; see also Mandela 2003, 332).