The absurdity of a conversation

Ini adalah contoh sebuah percakapan dimana:

1. Penanya merasa telah menanyakan pertanyaan yang benar.
2. Penjawab merasa telah menjawab pertanyaan itu dengan benar.
3. Penanya merasa penjawab telah menerima jawaban yang benar
4. Penjawab merasa kedua belah pihak telah saling mengerti

Kenyataan:
1. Penanya menanyakan dengan asumsi A
2. Penjawab menjawab dengan asumsi B.
3. Baik penanya maupun penjawab puas dengan pertanyaan dan jawaban masing-masing
4. Kedua belah pihak tidak sadar bahwa yang ditanyakan dan yang dijawab , they did not mean what their answers were.

Ini dia pecakapan itu. Setting: bea cukai Bandara Ngurah Rai Bali, setelah paspor dicap dan penumpang akan keluar ke terminal kedatangan internasional.

Saya baru pulang dari Dili, Timor Leste. Saya memakai tas tenunan ikat Rote (mirip dengan Timor). Wajah saya tentunya wajah Indonesia Timur. Setelah menyerahkan receipt 'Not to declare', saya melewati seorang petugas perempuan di meja terakhir sebelum menuju lorong keluar.
Petugas itu dengan ramah bertanya, "Dari Timor Leste ya?".
Saya menjawab "Iya".
Tanyanya lagi , "Mau ke mana?"
Jawab saya "Ke Jakarta".
"Tugas di Jakarta?"
"Iya", kata saya.
"Ok, silahkan", katanya dengan ramah.
"Makasih", sambil saya tersenyum dan menuju pintu keluar.

Selama dalam perjalanan keluar itu barulah saya berpikir, sepertinya ada sesuatu yang kurang 'klik' dari percakapan itu. Barulah beberapa setelah itu saya hampir tertawa sendiri. Rupanya petugas itu mengira jawaban saya sudah sesuai dengan yang ia asumsikan, dan saya mengira dia akan menerima jawaban saya seperti yang saya pikirkan. Padahal jika saya coba me-rekonstruksikan percakapan itu, beginilah kira-kira yang sebenarnya terjadi.


A: "Dari Timor Leste ya?" (maksudnya: apakah anda berasal dari Timor Leste?)
B:  "Iya" (maksudnya: iya, saya baru tiba dari Timor Leste)
A: "Mau ke mana?" (maksudnya: di Indonesia mau ke mana tujuannya?)
B: "Ke Jakarta" (maksudnya: dari Timor Leste mau pulang ke Jakarta)
A: "Tugas di Jakarta?" (maksudnya: dikirim kantor untuk bertugas di Jakarta?)
B: "Iya" (maksudnya: iya, kantor saya memang di Jakarta sehingga tugas saya sehari-hari memang di Jakarta).
A: "Ok, silahkan"
B: "Makasih"
Percakapan ditutup dan kedua belah pihak merasa telah melakukan tugasnya (bertanya dan menjawab) dengan baik. Tidak ada, paling tidak sampai saya menyadarinya beberapa waktu kemudian, yang menduga bahwa semuanya telah salah interpretasi baik dalam bertanya maupun menjawab...

Self control is the key

Nancy Reagen wore veil during audience with the Pope

This post is about my curiosity about how women must present themselves in public, whether or not women should cover themselves in public, and the reasons. And about why men, as the 'predator' should not look lustfully at women. I came into the verses Job 31:1-4, as part of the suggested reading by Our Daily Bread today. I did a quick search about the issue of women as the objects of men's lust. I found some comparisons from the perspective of three different historical public/religions' profiles, and put their words in chronological order. I remember this issue was really a hot topic during the debates about "Pornography Bill" a few years ago.




Job:
“I made a covenant with my eyes, not to look lustfully at a young woman... Does He not see my ways, and count my every step? (Job 31:1 & 4).


(Reason for men to control their gaze at women's bodies: because God sees everything, include one's eyes)


Jesus Christ:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. ³⁰ And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. (Matthew 5:27-29)


(Reason for men to control their gaze at women's bodies: because God counts it equal with committing adultery, and as other sins, they could go to hell because of that.)

Muhammad:
"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty......And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms...." (Quran 24:30,31).


"O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women that they should cast their outer garments over their bodies (when abroad) so that they should be known and not molested" (Quran 33:59).


(Reason for women to cover their bodies: so that they should be known and not molested. Their beauty could cause them trouble, by the men).


I conclude this post without conclusion, because that would sound offensive. But as for my personal, private preference (which I don't impose anyone to follow), I choose the notion of self-control of the (likely) perpetrators rather than adding the burden of the (likely) victims. I don't like the idea that men cannot control their mind. They could if they want (refer to what Job said in the aforementioned verses). I disagree with the idea that people who cannot control themselves are still allowed to roam free in the streets and do whatever they want, including molesting others who they deem subordinates (adults vs children, males vs females, rich vs poor, strong people vs weak people, etc). Though, if people choose to wear veil for their own personal reason, I do not mind at all, as long as they do it not by others' pressure but by their own choice (I have a lot of Muslim close friends who wear veil and I respect them whatever they chose to wear or not to wear). My point is that no one should force anyone else to follow or to bring the issue to public domain. This is, to me, is purely a matter of personal choice. So that's why I hate those who forced the Pornography Bill into legislation.   





Note: 


I did not put St. Paul's perspective in here, because:


* it is often quoted that Paul's instruction for women to cover their heads during their worship time in Synagogue is the evidence that women were seen as the lower creatures than their male counterparts, and symbol of their submission. However, that was a different context from what this post is talking about, because in those verses, Paul talked about the women "in the Synagogue building", not in public place. Not because women must protect themselves from men, but because it is "similar to women having bald head", which was not polite and modest during the era's standard of modesty. -- in modern Judaism context, that's why Jewish women often wearing wigs to Synagogue to these days (this is still obeserved by some Catholics sects and also Christian denominations like Amish, Quaker, etc. --see the picture above).


* it is also often quoted about Paul's advice for women not to wear excessive jewelry and apply attractive hair styles to Synagogue. This is also a different context from what this post is talking about, because the reason of those verses is the motivation behind the action: the moral message is: "Hey, women, you're going to synagogue to praise and worship the Lord, so do not make something that intends to put yourself at the center of the universe. God is the center, not you." Synagogue and church are not places to exhibit oneself, they are the place to worship, and all attention must be sent to the Lord God only.      

Piano

 

Prologue 

I love the sound of piano, very much.

I wish I could play piano properly, very much.

If someone plays piano very good, I multiply my like factor with 10 and reduce my dislike to 1/10.

I admire those who play piano well, very much. 

I have a dream, to play classic piano, will it come true in my life time?

If not, maybe in heaven, one day.

(1)

I suddenly remember someone who plays piano very well.

Who composed his own compositions, and sent some for me in a CD to enjoy.

He plays jazz, he plays classic.

He experiments and exercises his skills.

He's very good in photography too.

So he combined scenic pictures and piano composition.

That struck me in a chord. 

He's too good to be true.

He's half unreal.

Over time, he's hundred percent unreal.

(2)

I remember a neighbor, a friend who was sent for a piano class when we were kids.

I envied her, I just could see her, willingly but not brave enough to ask my parents to enroll me too, afraid that they could not afford it.

I bit my fingers, I desired it so much. 

All I could do the years after, was to attend choir, for choir is to me, a bit closer with musical instruments, to organ, to keyboard, to piano, at last.

(3)

Almost thirty something years later.

I went abroad, I met a friend who happened to be a pianist.

She was going to sell her old digital upright piano.

Very cheap, 200 bucks only. I even forgot the brand.

With a promise that she would teach me in addition to me learning from book autodidact.

So there I was, having my own piano (though digital and pretty cheap)

Still it is a piano!

Half of my dream came true that day.

Epilogue:

To date, I am able to play some simple compositions, and at least to read the notes.

I have been at Lesson 12: chord inversion, but then I moved and left my piano home.

When I was at home last Christmas, I played till my fingers sore, till midnight fell. 

Felt nothing but full of eagerness, full with longing to touch the keys and to listen to the crisp sound.

My temporary aim is to play Canon in D's Pachelbel

To date, I am able to play it (a not so good guessing around), but in C yet.

I played one third part of it actually, learning from Youtube.

One day, with a home on my own, with a piano of my own, I'll play it.

After that, I'll learn how to play Bach's Jesus, Joy of Man's Desire

And you will know that I play it too..the song you introduced me to several years ago.

One day you'll know

That I play but for another reason.

Which does not include you in it.

*Pic taken from Max Leger website (see the printed caption)

May my dream does not come true

In Bahasa only:

Ringkasan nightmare tadi malam, beserta remarksnya (in italic, yang menjelaskan kira-kira adegan itu berasal dari mana):

1. Ada pesawat jatuh di kota di mana saya berada (tidak jelas di mana, tapi banyak orang yang saya kenal di kota itu sekarang bertempat tinggal di Kupang). -- Kemungkinan karena saya banyak kontak dengan orang dari Kupang hari itu.

2. Pesawatnya besar sekali, kalau tidak salah Boeing A380, penumpangnya ratusan.-- Saya membaca iklan SQ siangnya di web.

3. Banyak penumpang yang mati, tapi banyak juga yang selamat. Kota hiruk pikuk dengan bunyi sirene dan ambulans. Chaos. --salah satu potongan film yang saya lihat sekilas di TV kemarin.

4. Entah kenapa, ada masalah dengan kejatuhan pesawat yang tidak normal. Suasana mencekam, saya termasuk dalam tim yang ditunjuk untuk menginvestigasi masalah kejatuhan pesawat tersebut. (Tidak jelas saya bekerja di mana dan kenapa masuk dalam tim itu). -- Saya masuk tim trainer di kantor :p.

5. Kami memulai penyelidikan tentang kejatuhan pesawat tersebut, dengan mendatangi lokasi kecelakaan, dan mendapati sisa-sisa kecelakaan, badan manusia dan pakainnya yang sudah sobek-sobek dan terbakar, dan sebagainya. --- Gara-gara liat trailer/poster film melancholia.

6.  Ada suatu temuan penting yang saya lupa tepatnya apa, tapi berhubungan dengan kepentingan beberapa orang penting di politik dan kekuasaan. Tim kami mulai merasa waspada. -- Ini juga gara-gara film.

7. Oleh karena itu kami selalu merasa diikuti oleh agen rahasia pemerintah. Teman saya bilang, "Jangan takut, biasa saja, memangnya kamu tidak pernah diikuti oleh FBI ya? Mereka ini FBI, business as usual lah..". --- Tidak punya ide, tapi mungkin dari film enemy of the state.

8. Entah apa kejadian di antaranya, teman satu tim saya lalu mengajak saya naik ke atas gunung, semacam hiking, udara di atas sana dingin, dan berkabut, dalam rangka investigasi. Tanah basah, merah hitam, berlumpur. Hujan gerimis, udara dingin berangin, napas beruap. Kami semua memakai boot karena keadaan tanah yang basah dan berlumpur. Tibalah kami di semacam kuburan massal di balik bukit. Ada lubang-lubang semacam kuburan di tanah, terhampar di bidang tanah yang cukup luas dan bertanah gembur. Teman saya menyuruh saya melihat ke dalam lubang-lubang itu. Kata saya, "Apakah kamu yakin?". Kata teman saya, "Kalau kamu tidak percaya, lihat saja sendiri!". Saya memberanikan diri melongok ke dalam lubang-lubang tersebut, dan masyaallah, di dalamnya benar-benar terbaring orang-orang yang sudah mati! Mereka kembanyakan terbungkus pakaian panjang semacam overcoat, banyak yang bermotif kotak-kotak. Dan tubuh mereka sudah banyak yang tercampur lumpur. Saya berteriak padanya "Wah, mereka nampaknya sudah benar-benar mati". Kata teman saya, "Kalau begitu mari kita pulang dan laporkan!". Kami sepertinya diikuti, dan teman saya berbisik "Jangan takut, mereka hanya FBI". --- Saya baru ingat, ini settingnya mirip sekali dengan foto teman saya di FB kemarin tentang air strip di Wamena, pegunungan, basah.

9. Sampailah kami di kantor, namun saya masih terbayang-bayang wajah-wajah orang mati dalam kuburan massal itu. Mengapa mereka di sana? Siapakah mereka? Apakah mereka penumpang yang tidak mati namun dibunuh setelah pesawat jatuh? Ribuan pertanyaan timbul di benak saya. --- Hmmh..orang mati, ini pasti pengaruh saya ngobrol dengan ibu saya tentang tante saya yang meninggal minggu lalu.

10. Sambil bertanya-tanya, saya terbangun dari tidur, melihat jam, dan mendapati bahwa sudah hampir jam 6 pagi. Thanks God it was just a dream! May my dream does not come true!

Jelas-jelas sekali, faktor lain yang membuat mimpi saya seburuk ini adalah karena tadi malam udaranya dingin dan saya tidak menutup jendela sama sekali, dan badan serta pikiran saya penuh dengan tugas2 yang belum selesai.. Kombinasi dingin dan capek, resultannya selalu adalah mimpi buruk, selalu begini. Ditambah dengan bumbu-bumbu dari kejadian seharian itu tentunya....

*Pic from: Nightmare on an elm street

"Watercolours In The Rain"

Again, a Roxette's song. But the lyrics, perhaps, is relevant to me this time. 
That all this time, I have been running, all my life. All my life. All my life.....

"Watercolours In The Rain"

Going through the motions

Ending up Nowhere at all

Can't see the sun on my wall

Going through emotions

Ending up On a frozen morning

With a heart not even broken

Seems I've been running

All my life

All my life

Seems I've been running

All my life

All my life

All my life

Like watercolours in the rain

Find a place to settle down

Get a job In a city nearby

And watch the trains Roll on by

I'll find the falling star

I'll fall In love

With the eyes of a dreamer

And a dream worth believing

Seems I've been running

All my life

All my life

Seems I've been running

All my life

All my life

All my life

Like water colours in the rain

  

*Picture taken from Jerry-Stitt Watercolor-online: http://www.watercolor-online.com/WatercolorWest/Exhibitions/38th/images/jerry-stitt.jpg

You're so far away

It's been more than 10 years, or even 15, the last time I heard this song. This is a Roxette's song that was not as popular as 'It must have been love' or 'Listen to your heart' for instance. But, I loved the song, as much as I loved 'Anyone' or 'The rain' or 'Fading like a flower' or 'I wish I could fly' or 'Things would never be the same'. I have no particular impression or emotion or memories pertaining to the song's lyrics, but I just loved it for it's so easy listening. And most of Roxette's songs I love because they always tell the story of the cold Scandinavian country: gloomy, dark, cold. Because I knew Roxette's songs that I found out the statement 'suicidal rate of Scandinavians are high because of the weather'. The truth is, I don't know whether it's true or not (I have a Scandinavian friend telling me that it's a hoax, predictably). But I heard/read more often about their welfare system. Of their liberal ways of life. Of their successful development and system. Recently (last year wasn't it?), about the killing of an ultra right wing gunman in a youth labor party's camp in Sweden. By the way, following is the lyrics. Enjoy!

"So Far Away" (Roxette)

In the coldest time of year, Darkness all around my heart. I was alone but didn't fear To wander in the light of stars.
In the bright and silent night, Winds would knock and disappear. Still I felt the feeling near, Like the first time you were ever here. You're so far away, So far away, You left me, You told me you would stay. You never said goodbye
And I'll keep asking why, I keep on asking how, Oh come unto me now. I have breathed the morning air,
I have heard the four winds blow. I was weary but prepared to follow Down this lonely road. In the room where lovers sleep, Winds would knock and disappear. Still I felt the music near, Like the first time we were ever here.
You're so far away, So far away, You left me, You told me you would stay. You never said goodbye And I keep wondering why, I keep on wondering how, Oh come inside me now.

A procrastinate morning with Coldplay

This Saturday morning I woke up at 9am, simply because I felt my stomach kicked. Yes, hungry. If not, I probably kept sleeping until 10am or so. The setting was perfect outside. Gloomy. Cool air. Quiet.

With a strong motivation to work on my proposal and module this weekend, I found it difficult, still, to drag my body to wash and brush my teeth. Uh oh..working working, ganbatte! Til I found out that I've got a bag full of dirty clothes that should have been sent to laundry last Thursday (I put them on a bag already, not in the basket anymore). It stood close to my door, so close it was hard to avoid seeing it every time I go to bathroom.

Sun rays emerged from the transparent corrugated roof in front of my room. And just like a heavenly light, the light pointed out at everything I did not really notice before. How dusty my shoes rack was. Then I opened the door and realized that the room was also in need of some serious cleaning. I meant, look, the Christmas tree's still there, books were everywhere, cosmetics were scattered.How come I work in such a dirty, disorganized room? So after having my quick brekkie, I worked and cleaned all, like a mad man. Sweeping, mopping, dusting, brushing, spraying room air deodorizer with flowery scent (not my type of scent indeed, but I was gonna trying new thing when I purchased it). 


After all this hard 'work', I tried to strengthen my poor back and legs by laying down a bit in the clean room. I saw the latest edition of The Economist that I brought the other day and read it. The sun submerged in the clouds, I think, cause it started to gloom once more. Hmm..hmmh..what a nice weekend. Good sleep, good reading, good loud music (I played Coldplay's latest songs - Every tear is a waterfall, Charlie Brown, Mylo Xyloto etc), in short, a good laid back and doing nothing weekend. Probably would be good to write it on my blog.


Jumping up, unfinishing the Economist's article on China's economy. I started to type this blog. And guess what, it's almost 12 o'clock, noon time already. And I did not, have not, at all, touch the subject of the proposal and module I intended to do since yesterday. 


So I guess, this is what people describe as PROCRASTINATION. It is such a way to delay, postpone, any efforts one can do to avoid work and finish a task. Yep, that's exactly what I did this morning, procrastinate.


And Chris Martin's nice crisp voice is still loud, still as sexy as he always does, as long as I can recall from watching his Viva La Vida Concert back in Melbourne 3 years ago. 

Still I haven't started working on my tasks.. I dunno how to bring the work ethos back. I'll find it out later. I will. I promise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhKxtv1FiUM

The blink of a queen's eye: the story of blatant stupidity

This is one of the most foolish "news" I've ever read in history: Julia Perez admitted that she saw Nyai Roro Kidul's eye (on the painting) blinked to her when she entered the 308 (or something like that) room in a hotel I forgot the name (a famous hotel for having a specially dedicated room for the queen of southern ocean - the title of Nyai Roro Kidul, one of the most famous legend of Javanese - Mataram Javanese, especially those living in southern coastal areas). That was after this Julia did the rituals of showering with I don't know how many kinds of flowers and eating rose petals (or jasmine petals) like the late Suzanna, the legendary horror movie actress, did.

It is on Yahoo OMG id news. Wow. An insult to intellectuality indeed. This is 2012, and in Indonesia this is still considered a news. The TVs covered it. The gossips tabloids put it on headlines. The internet gossips pages too. I could not and would never been able to understand why she is even a news maker, and when will this country will move from its full of superstitions daily life which is fully exploited by the cheap news agencies? Somehow, I agreed with the communists: superstitions and fatalism are the pathogen of our society (sorry for improperly quoting).

I ceased to ask. I, perhaps should consider it news too, junk news, which place and end location is: inside the trash bin.

http://www.tribunnews.com/2012/01/28/julia-perez-shok-nyai-roro-kidul-kedipkan-mata

My dream was so cold

I woke up this morning, feeling a bit cold and sneezing and have blocked nose, followed by runny nose. A terrible way to wake up. I guessed I used half roll of tissue this morning and my body was chilled.


Then I realized that I fell asleep last night with the outfits I wore the whole day yesterday. Did not put any blanket, did not change any clothes, just fell asleep with the TV's on. A bad way to sleep, no?

Then I remember something. My dream last night. It was weird. I saw myself standing in the street of a city. It looked like European cities. The skies were grey as usual (all my dreams have grey skies), but last night's was even darker. It was like night time, but pretty well lit. Twilight actually. Kinda indigo color. There were some people too on that street. Their faces, again, as usual, were cold and pale. They looked like Caucasians. Some of them, were old, have wrinkles on their faces. And then (I was almost sure that I heard vaguely, sound of music, like soft clink of piano, very soft on the background), the soft frosty pieces of snow fell...very slow...and touched the soil and formed white mounds slowly. I saw them with awe. "Snow! Snow?", I whispered, half surprised, half nervous. Why snow in this place? I thought. It was an absurd question actually, since I did not even know where it was, and why I was there with all the strangers. Actually, it looked like the people were not real. I felt like I was watching or reading them. They seemed to be from different reality. I have odd, mixed feelings about me being there. About the sensation I have when I touched and grasped the snow in my palms. When I crunched the snow and felt the cold. "Is it climate change? Or is it a dream?" I asked.

Right after that, I sneezed.

Then I found out that it was the latter. Because I started to feel that my blouse was too tight. Then I saw the folded sleeves. My memory's back. This was the blouse I wore to the office today. And I looked down, the A line blue jeans skirt's there. I was still wearing it. My eyes were quite sore and dry. My nose was in trouble. I got up and started to get prepared to go to work.

Now, when I type this post, that I got the awareness: that the snowy dream was merely a result of me reading the news in Kompas about bad winter that hits Eastern Europe, and caused homeless people and old people died. I recall the picture that shows people slept under a bridge in one of the Eastern Europe countries I could not recall, when the mercury plunged down to minus 23 Celcius. I can recall the streetlights in the picture.

They were the people in my dream. The city was the city in my dream. The snow, was the snow on my dream. That news reflected in my under conscience.

So now I know why my dream was so cold.

PS: I took this pic from Google of course. Not sure if this represents the story of my dream, since it looks a bit like rural than urban setting. But who knows, it could be a city park. I will never know.