Now this..2nd day

Move

TobyMac

Another heartbreak day
Feels like you’re miles away
Don’t even need no shade
When your sun don’t shine, shine 

Too many passin’ dreams
Roll by like limousines
It’s hard to keep believin’
When they pass you by and by 

I know your heart been broke again
I know your prayers ain’t been answered yet
I know you’re feeling like you got nothing left
Well, lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet so 

Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
Move, keep walkin’ until the mornin’ comes
Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
And lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet 

Echoin’ inside your head
Are the words that your sweet momma said
“Shoot for the moon, my dear”
So you took aim out of this atmosphere
Between high…

He is just victorious

The Wonderful Cross

Chris Tomlin

When I survey the wondrous CrossOn which the Prince of Glory diedMy richest gain, I count but lossAnd pour contempt on all my prideSee from His head, His hands, His feetSorrow and love flow mingled downDid ever such love and sorrow meet?Or thorns compose, so rich a crownOh the wonderful Cross, oh the wonderful CrossBids me come and die and find that I may truly liveOh the wonderful Cross, oh the wonderful CrossAll who gather here by grace, draw near and bless Your nameWere the whole realm of nature mineThat were an offering far too smallLove so amazing, so divineDemands my soul, my life, my allOh the wonderful Cross, oh the wonderful CrossBids me come and die and find that I may truly liveOh the wonderful Cross, oh the wonderful CrossAll…


Today, Sunday, 2 April 2017
Minggu Pra-Paskah ke-5
I have been so lost, so far away from Him
I had no idea, no feelings about Pessach, Resurrection, Lent, Easter, whatever
The classical Judeo-Christianity holy days and rituals in Spring time
I thought I will deliberate miss these moments of reflecting faith this year
2017, the year I started my life here
Because everyone here don't care anyway, of God, of Divine intervention
of those ancient myths, they say, or flying spaghetti monster, whatever
Then today, in the morning
That devil called
I felt so wild, so bad, so rebellious, almost liberated, from Him, from His command, from his Words.
I followed the devil
I followed the weak flesh of mine
and tainted this Domingo day, this memorial of the VoskreseniyeAnd there, when some odds drive led me to the church at 4.55 pm
I followed.

At that very conjunction of D***n and Sy**** Rd.

When my feet stepped into the pavement for pedestrian

After getting off the tram

I think.. when the battle started to be swinging to His side

I stopped and thought..to follow T* to the left - and didn't go to church

Or to step to the right and go to church, and accepted the fact that I'm a sinner

Which perhaps can reconcile my sins with the Words

So I took the right step, which proved to be the RIGHT STEP

I thought it was a luck of me, a lottery of coincident

But I was wrong, it was not me

It was Him, always, all the time

I think hard now.... that I imagine the process behind the screen:

Screwtape and Wormwood on the training in Inferno

And their enemy, their very Enemy (in capital)

Were trying to look at me and bet

Or did some power struggle

To get me, by my fall and wrecked or by my standing up

And there

In that old ancient red brick church

Cold and dampened in this early autumn

Again

The battle is won by Him

Something was sent

I think from heaven, while I was there in church

So when I got home

All the messages I knew I would receive

To convince me to leave the Devil

Are received, right in front of my face

That was when I know

That moment

That Screwtape and Wormwood, had been defeated

That this is a loss for them

'Cause He wins once more from them

He is victorious and He shows me that

BLUNTLY

All evidence and proofs are provided

Without me asking

Right on the table

By some stupid mistakes of others

That put me in the corner

That I can run, but I can't hide from Him

Blessed be Thy name o Lord

Nothing compares to you

Like ancient Israel in the Bible

Who knew that God has helped them through thin and thick

But still looked for other idols

And made Him jealous and angry

I am like them

Not grateful, but betrayed Him

With my repeated sins

Then I got into this song, When I Survey the Wondrous Cross

Then I wept on these lines when they are sang:

 
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all


Then I remember Screwtape and Wormwood
Poor guys
I'm sorry
It is your loss
I'm His, not yours

And then this from ODB today, which title is, ODDLY: Behind the Scenes

https://odb.org/2017/04/02/behind-the-scenes-5/

The Old Testament prophet Daniel also anxiously awaited a reply. After receiving a frightening vision of great war, Daniel fasted and sought God through humble prayer (10:3, 12). For three weeks, he received no reply (vv. 2, 13). Finally, an angel arrived and assured Daniel his prayers had been heard “since the first day.” In the meantime, the angel had been battling on behalf of those prayers. Though Daniel didn’t know it at first, God was at work during each of the twenty-one days that elapsed between his first prayer and the angel’s coming.


I can say no more. Speecheless. How great Thou art!

Evaporated feelings

This is how it ends
Usually
It's just gone
The feeling that was intense
Evaporated away just like that
I have seen it coming
Maybe I have been made this way
Endurance in keeping up the feeling is not my diet
One day it was so intense
The next day, it's just gone

Need no philosophical thinking
It is just the way it is
Move on with life
As I always have been and will

J-P_D

Dunno. No more

I dunno
I keep repeating the same mistake
Over, and over, again
2000.2001.2002.2003.2004.2005.2006.2009.2013.2015. 2017
Years added into the equation
Just like digits in calculator
Or some lottery codes
Or whatever
And yet, patterns repeated
Over, and over, again
And this time, again after, sometime in 2003. Oct 2004. {Oct 2009}. Sept 2013. Mar 2015. [May 2016]. Mar 2017.
L*** like this does not come every time, or every year.
Maybe every 4 years, or so
And still
Nothing lasted
Just like everytime
Just like every other time
The one that got away
No more
No more
Please
No more
Risky but might be worth
Accept that it isn't meant to be
If people are able to move on
I am too
Absolutely
Like many times before

Summer rain in Melbourne

This is my second edition in Melbourne. This time I arrived in summer, unlike almost nine (!) years ago when I came in winter. This summer I reckon, is a mild one. Hardly any "world record mercury high" been broken. In reverse, there's a lot of rain and chilling days than hot days. The last time I was here, almost everyday there was record this and that mercury high, fall in city water reservation, or heatwave and bushfires.

Now I am sitting in front of my window panes. Raindrops soaked the window glass, leaving droplet marks, that dispersed bright lights from the street lights down there on the street. There is a lady with formal black dress walking under the street lights alone, near the car park. All these scenes happen in quietness, only with the bacground whispering sound of the rain...and the sound of instrumental hymn piano from my laptop's playing Spotify (allright, not that quiet I know).

And Spotify plays "Abide with me" from my laptop speaker. I am so amen to the hymn's lyrics. I pray that my Lord will remain abide with me, in every steps that I take, in every decision that I make, in every things that I do. Because I need Thee every hour, every minute, every second, every milisecond of my life.

And I open the website of Our Daily Bread, the title is "Begin where you are", just as I observe the raindrops on my window pane. Thinking how peaceful it is, the nature and the universe that God has created and creates for us. How beautiful, how serene.

This is what the author of Our Daily Bread posting today (05/02/17) writes:


A trickling waterfall, the wind in the willows, a baby robin, the blue sky, a tiny flower. Why not begin your thankfulness with this?

http://odb.org/2017/02/05/begin-where-you-are/

Yes, good Lord, I thankful, very very much for my life, for the nature and the universe that You have created and creates for us. For the privilege that I received from you, the blessings, and most of all, the Salvation, through the Logos, Jesus Christ. My grateful is barely speakable, because words are not enough to say.  

Striking return of old memory of folk dancers' photograph

Babendi bendi …
Ka Sungai Tanang, amboi kanduang ei, ka Sungai Tanang …
Ka Sungai Tanang, amboi kanduang ei
Singgah lah mamatiak diak, singgah lah mamatiak kuntum lambayuang
Singgah lah mamatiak diak, singgah lah mamatiak kuntum lambayuang

Hati siapo …
Indak kan sanang, amboi kanduang ei, indak kan sanang …
Indak kan sanang, amboi kanduang ei
Maliek si upiak, maliek si upiak manari payuang
Ditimpo paneh baranti dulu diak, baok balinduang

-----

Kejadian yang sangat aneh terjadi beberapa hari yang lalu. Saya bermimpi tentang suatu pigura dengan gambar perempuan penari lengkap dengan kostum penari oranye kekuningan dan rumbai-rumbai di tutup kepalanya, dan payung berlipit-lipit berwarna putih, kuning, oranye dan merah. Gambar berpigura ini pernah dimiliki oleh orangtua saya, kurang lebih 36 tahun yang lalu (!) di rumah kami di Kampung Ba**. 

Saya ingat bahwa kaca pelapis gambar ini pecah pada suatu hari. Dan pecahan kaca itu kami ibaratkan sebagai es batu. Jaman itu, tidak banyak yang punya kulkas, dan es batu dalam potongan kecil-kecil adalah hal yang langka bagi kami. Karena itu, kami mengibaratkan (membayangkan) kaca-kaca tersebut sebagai es batu, sesuatu yang segar, yang langka, yang sifatnya "we wish". Umur saya sendiri sekitar 5 atau 6 tahun pada waktu itu.

Dalam mimpi saya itu, seluruh kejadian ini lengkap, bersama dengan musik pengiring, lagu Babendi-bendi ini (atau Berbendi-bendi, versi Bahasa Indonesia-nya). Musik ini masih terngiang di telinga saya saat saya terjaga.

Mimpi yang benar-benar aneh. Jangan-jangan ini yang dinamakan time lapse? De ja vu? Multiverse reality? Parallel reality? Atau ini hanya semata-mata gesekan neuron-neuron di otak saya yang tidak sinkron pada saat saya berada dalam fase mimpi?

*oldPost-2016

A poem of another same old story

If this pattern repeats, I quit.
I don't play this game anymore.
I have had enough
I fed up
I am tired
I am weary
Has it been....24, 25, 26 years?
Pattern, the same pattern, all over all over all over again and again and again.....
Has it been....24, 25, 26 years?
I am weary
I am tired
I fed up
I have had enough
I don't play this game anymore.
If this pattern repeats, I quit.